“Why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring? O my God, I cry in the daytime, but though hearest me not, and in the night season, and am not silent. But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel” – Psalm 22:1-3 (partial) KJV.

Getting ready for Jesus’s voice to be heard over all other thoughts or opinions as much as though he is standing next to you, when the world has tried without relenting to persuade everyone that no spirits of any kind exist, let alone a good one, let alone a good one with thoughts that can comprehend our own, so that if there was good spirit, it should be too small to have created something greater than itself, since we are, theoretically, the greatest. How does one trust a change of life experience, which includes changes of the boundaries in relationship to physical and circumstantial facts, one that changes the knowledge of God’s voice in perception, that changes all relations with people, and changes by the knowledge of self that is within the truth, with God, who speaks?

Can bitterness block you from the love of God? No.

Can hate block you from the love of God? No.

There is nothing with the power to block you from the love of God. Firstly, no curse was greater than death. The greatest curse is broken. Only one man could do it, and that same man was the only one needed to do it. Secondly, He purchased all flesh. So, he already owns the thing that is corrupted. Get it? Maybe not, but I’m not taking a defense, right now. This is about bread.

During the waiting, I have a practical tip: replenishment comes bite-by-bite. What I mean is, read your Bible out loud; the New Testament is greater than the law: the law is death, and Jesus of Nazareth is life. Take it in small chunks. There’s no need to over stuff yourself. Speak the word aloud while keeping a watchful eye on your energy and nourishment levels. Test this and see if after, only, a couple sentences you don’t feel the food entering your belly. And see if it’s not the best food your body has ever known. Search your body for weakness. Search your body for faintness. Search your mind for hopelessness. Search your mind for fear. So, long as you eating, it will not be there. But it is a feast. Expect to fill up and grow hungry for more. You will have more. Babies eat and rest very often, but with solid food toddlers eat less often. You will grow. His food will get you through the day. Where I am in my growth, one meal of his word, a day, feels like a fast.

Food that spoils cannot sustain you.

Oil is important for sight of God’s beauty, identity within eternity, and victory in all spiritual warfare. I don’t recommend going to battle to declare or move things, like mountains, if you have no oil with which to identify yourself as one within the timestream of righteousness, which is your portion. I can’t really describe with words what this is, but you’ll recognize oil when you have yourself within the Holy Spirit, living on an internal being in a way that both confirms the knowing and searching for a better inner life, as well as astounding that request for having received greater than the possibility to fathom of a thriving inner life. 

But I think it’s easy to mistake the hunger for the daily bread, for the oil that comes by Holy Spirit alignment and/or receiving, which is continued in by working in, practicing in, and growing in your identity within the eternal righteousness. 

While oil is required, it’s not without the need for food. 

Being eternal does not mean you don’t need food, anymore. 

But here’s the good news, food is good! That means you get to feel good when it enters you. Yay! 

Also, you’re going to need to eat all the different kinds of bread (mine is a growing list.)

• The word (Leaning on the word because it’s truth, life, food, health, and good)
• Praise (Thankful admiration to celebrate that God is good)
• Worship (Songs to honor him and celebrate our lives as good)
• Ministering (Celebrating that our help is Jesus, the powerful, able, victorious, and trustworthy)
• Communion (To feel and to celebrate our oneness with God through Christ’s blood atonement)
• Obedience (done with the LEAST of willingness and participation, entering the Kingdom of God)
• Rest (Either in resistance to the rat race or in faith, both leads to trust in God as provider)
• Relationships (Choosing Jesus’s friends, leads to greater and greater everything)
• Prayer (Talking with God in Trinity, leads to receiving all things as gifts)
• Fasting (Entrusting your body to God, leads to understanding strength, and the smallness of the body)
• Righteousness (100% of all the good works of His hands adorn you as your rightful promise of your inheritance)
• Establishment (This is accepting an high office of nobility, trade, and dignity and requires an appreciation of your rights and responsibilities as both heir in heaven and over the natural)
• Authority (Belief in the authority of Jesus leads to learning what your permissions are over every element (Col. 2:20 – “If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why…)

All this has a desired experience for the righteous: knowing God.

“Verily, Verily, I say unto you, He that hearth my word, and believes on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life” – Gospel of John 5:18. 

None of this can become a new law as a yoke or flaming obstacle course because God the Father will never speak in a fashion to cause himself to deny Jesus as Messiah, the successful. 

But when you see this list and you see that there is so much goodness in it, I warn you to consider the walk of the Apostle Peter. As you experience these things, do not be discouraged as hunger opens new needs within you, again and again, differently and differently, again. For each meal, you’ll be brought into a new and different hunger. And hunger must precede eating because who wants to eat on a full stomach? God is not about the painful and bloated life. So, he’ll provide a hunger. All babies need a parent. Don’t fret as you are waiting to find out what it is you’re hungry for, he’ll bring you to the food. Just stay aware. When you feel weak, weaker than food than spoils can affect, this is a symptom of hunger for The Word, for Parises, and for Worship. Loneliness is a hunger for the Bread of Relationships. You will not starve. In fact, you will not experience that hunger, early. 

But let us not think ourselves greater than the Apostle Peter, but let us wonder if it’s, simply, that sampling from the feast table is not the end of the matter. In God’s timing, it’s all probably rather fast, the sampling of all the loaves to eat. 

I think, what we’re hoping for is the New Creation phenomenon given to Peter and the rest while they gathered in the upper room. And I think, there’s a promise in our bellies where our spirits mingle in presence with the Holy Spirit, being sealed. We know that there is such a height to existence that we can’t prepare our minds to fathom, but we hear the gentle joy of a bubbling Holy Spirit grow our hope into All Possibilities and Wonders. 

So, we’re excited. About what, we don’t know exactly. 

But I think, we know, in this way, that as a New Creation food is not going to feel necessary from lack. And hunger will not come with pain or fear, but as desire and with joy, so that there will be an end of weakness in our experience, entirely. 

But also, I think, getting to this end of weakness in our existence is a unity with Jesus of Nazareth our God, Lord, and Savior, the Son of God, which involves an intimacy as a wife trusts her husband with the responsibility to hold and keep and protect the heart of her, which is to her, an entirety of self; it is say, “I trust you.” 

For the Apostle Peter, hundreds of thousands of physical miracles and demonic deliverances were not enough to award Jesus the trust of his self-worth, sanity, and ultimate reality. Neither was it enough to see many corpses returned unto health. Nor was it enough to meet the resurrected Christ as he appeared inside a room with a locked door, twice.

But when Jesus the Messiah, his friend, forgave Peter for leaving Jesus alone to be alone during a trial wrongfully accused, to be alone in prison where he was beaten, and alone when flogged more than most men survive, and being crucified. After being forgiven, then, Peter could hand over to his Savior all the accusations and insecurities and fears harbored in his heart, which had turned it, fully, to stone. 

Then, he accepted his establishment, with the honor and with the responsibility.

By word and attitude, he accepted the call of Jesus. 

But in body, he was commanded by Jesus to wait on the baptism of the Holy Spirit, which was one of fire. 

He and the others where only told not to leave Jerusalem until the Holy Spirit came to them. They were not told how long it would be. 

They waited two weeks. 

Before this, Peter had fled for his life from the authorities, hid himself in locked rooms for the fear of those in high offices of men, and returned to his former occupation, which he suffered before being called to follow Jesus. 

After, however, the boldness of the Apostle Peter is unmatched. And his power moved in greater suddenness than Jesus’s because of the faith of the people for the living, walking, breathing testimony of his light as the righteousness of God; the fulfillment of Jesus’s success and truth and authority being validated by God the Father that Jesus’s atonement is enough to create in a man of no previous divinity and, still, nothing without Christ, who is himself nothing without the Father, but is a first of many, a man of divine indwelling of God’s righteousness.

Do not expect this process to be either long or short, short or long. And do not expect your heart to lean on your beloved as a joyful, devoted, and trusting wife, at any faster speed than the Apostle Peter. And I would discourage anyone from looking for trust in Jesus by seeking out the miracles at revival tents, but look at what Peter’s stone heart could trust: forgiveness. Seek to feel and to know that Jesus forgives you. You can build up faith in readiness through the reading of the word, you can learn about his desire to forgive by hearing testimonies of those who weep from knowing they are forgiven, and you can learn that his power effects reality inside the revival tents, but this is all curiosities, questions, and seeking. What will get you trusting him with all of your heart, as he asks, is to seek to know his forgiveness. To know his forgiveness is to know his power, his presence, and his lovingkindness. Then, and I dare say, only then, will a heart be free to be handed over to Jesus in trust, at this thorough a degree. So that then, the baptism can re-birth you as one of his spirit, being made his righteousness, a new creation, pure child, with all the rights of the begotten one because that’s how he gives: without measure. You will know God the Father, Jesus Christ the Son, the Holy Spirit; the voice, the face, and the presence. And when you sit on his lap, and all the wondrous glory recedes as an ocean wave, you will see him and know that he was all of himself in the smallest whisper, so that you’ll know, “That was you and that was you, and I have met you. ’cause, you’re you, but I was scared so went ahead of yourself to comfort me, again and again.” And if you get overwhelmed, again, he’ll quick get you a smoothy.

God is already in you. He is all-knowing and all-present. God is everywhere. But until you accept him, you do not live in his works, in his deserved praises, as though you are the person being praised. But your pride, that which turned the heart of flesh to stone in self-protectiveness, will shudder in horror at the sound of unmerited praise because it is too great an un-compete-able success. And the human pride is a condition of self-prescribed way to attain an achievement-oriented version of success. And this gift is too incredibly undeserved for the pride to suffer. This height of living within the success of another, even though it’s your Father, is beyond horrific for the denial of the idea of building up self-worth, even though it would require eons of good works to attempt to catch up to hearing enough praises in pure loving celebration of having received a perfect gift of pure selfless love. The pride can’t value its soul to accept this divine level gratitude. But for the soul to abide in God’s praises, to let itself adopt those works as though the soul is being praised for having accomplished them, all, the pride must rage and die in horror of losing the opportunity to try to earn it, even though the task is utterly impossible. But God thinks, this height of gladness and joy, although he earned it and knit it as a robe for you, is the minimum of how good you should feel, daily. He thinks you should start in righteousness and live there, forever and ever and always. He thinks, He looks radiant on you. And he would have every angel and all creation, except your siblings, bow to you as they do to him, in honor of whose child you are, in truth. The soul knows how to receive in perfect humility as a child who justly is alive to truth as one who gets to have the greatest Dad. The soul says, “Yeah, this is who I am. If anybody’s jealous it’s just because I have the best Dad. I have the best Dad!”

Those who hate their lives will seek it out; those who love their lives might ignore it, until God gets their attention is a way that will, in all likeihood, land somewhere on the scale from uncomfortable to nerve racking. God is not trying to frighten you, but he is trying to encourage you that there is an easier and lighter, in his opinion more better, including fun and enriching and purposefully and rewarding and joyous way of life that will case your soul to burst into rejoicing, saying, “Oh! This is life! Yeah, I can be excited about being eternal, now. This is good. Good is good. I’m so thankful you didn’t leave me placid!” 

While you wait, consider the waiting time as preparation as Peter, not seeing his savior, not yet confident, but expecting with great hope that when the Holy Spirit comes, he will not enter into condemnation, but he will pass from death to life. Hallelujah!